The past few days I have found it hard to pray. I have found it hard to read scripture. I have no problem going through the actions of praying or reading scripture but I feel I am not getting any joy out of it. I am distracted and constantly thinking about something else that I could/should be doing that would bring me more joy or comfort. For example I could be struggling through prayer and I think to myself that I could better use this time to go for a run. I feel like I'm not getting anything out of praying and if I went for a run I would feel better and get some exercise. According to this way of thinking it makes perfect sense.
But is this the way that I should be thinking? Do I pray just so I can feel better? Should I only read scripture so I can feel joy and comfort. Am I Catholic just because it makes me feel happy?
This is not the way I should be thinking! I should not be living by the rule that whatever feels good must be good for me!
Sometimes it is hard to pray. Sometimes it is difficult to read scripture. Sometimes it feels like you don't need to build a relationship with the Lord, you are doing just fine on your own. These are the times that you need it the most.
Even when I feel like my praying is not important or fruitful I need to remember that my relationship with the Lord is the most important part of my life and not just because it brings me joy at that moment.
Dear Lord, Help me to find joy and comfort in prayer but also to continue to pray even when I don't want to.
Joining in with Soli Deo Gloria